I was trying to determine the best approach for this post -- was it the relinquishing of anger or the acceptance of happiness? I don't think it's as much the latter as it is the former which is why I have approached it as such.
A few days ago I had an epiphany, I don't know if it's because of the discussion of resistance in my re-reading of The War of Art, or just because I had realized that holding onto anger wasn't healthy for my self progression -- either way, I've decided to relinquish my anger and move forward.
It's been an interesting week since this revelation, because as many that know me know, I'm a very volatile individual in certain circumstances. It was mostly because that's who I was required to be, based off experience and image I had to maintain a certain stance in order to ensure people understood their place with me as well as my position.
But then I realized none of it matters.
I'd rather eliminate the toxicity and keep it moving than entertain those that need to see me as someone that given certain circumstances will take certain actions.
I will say, it's one of the greater decisions I've made -- not being angry is excellent.
Now I'm not saying it's a proclamation of happiness, because that in fact it is not. I feel happiness is an interesting pursuit that isn't always attainable; there are many factors at play and I feel as if it's more of an at peace with oneself as opposed to 'happy'.
I decided to let go of past angst and apologized to those I felt I had wronged, not out of emotion but out of vindication for their prior actions.
None the less, its been an interesting journey and more fun that hating the world.
Sidebar: I still believe humans are useless and that dogs are greater than all.